speaking

  • Ever been asked to get to the point?

    What’s the point you’re making?
    Get to the point.
    Click!

    All within 3 seconds. That’s all the time you have to grab or lose your listener’s attention. Let me help you understand why it happens and what you can do about it.

    First, let’s consider why.

    Every day, each of us is assailed by thousands of messages – in print, in sound, in pictures, and even in person. It’s a deluge that overwhelms the senses, closing off those private moments of reflection that once we knew, forcing us to react to the demands of the moment.

    Result: we have been trained to switch off.

    As fast as we respond to those demands of the moment, we tend to lose interest and turn our minds to some other pressing matter. Attention Deficit has reached epidemic proportions.

    It is therefore vital to be able to make your point in just a minute, because two of the dominant characteristics of advanced nations in the 21st century are a short attention span and instant gratification.

    In the early ’90s, Steven Silbiger wrote a best-selling business book called “The 10-Day MBA”. He wrote that his aim was “to cut to the heart of the top MBA programs’ subject matter clearly and concisely – the way only an MBA can, and the way academics would not dare.”

    An MBA in only ten days?! It struck a chord with thousands of people who rushed to buy the book. I know many of them. I’ve seen the book on their shelves, and heard them confess that they had not actually read all 348 pages.

    The book is excellent. It offers what many people want: a step-by-step guide to mastering the skills taught in top business schools. In a hurry. Yet it is not “instant” enough for those who cannot, or will not, spare the time to sit and read the book, digest its information and decide how to apply it.

    So how is that relevant to spoken communication and making your point in just a minute?

    The relevance lies in the time pressures that govern our lives in the western world, and the need to decide quickly what is useful and discard what is not. We live in an age of Information Overload.

    The important consequence is that we are being conditioned to tune out and switch off the information we do not want. It has become a universal conditioned reflex. It means that most people cannot concentrate for very long. Our brains can think several times faster than people speak, so even while we are listening to someone else, our brains are dealing with something else, especially if what’s being said is less than riveting.

    In conversations, speeches and presentations, people drift away. That’s why we need to develop the skill of commanding and retaining the attention of our listeners. That’s why we need to be able to make our point in just a minute.

    Why contain your message in just a minute?

    The most important reason for being succinct is that it makes you and your message more acceptable. “Get to the point!” is the anguished cry in everyone’s head (including our own) when others launch into a long-winded account of an event or a proposal. A common variation is, “What’s the point you are making?”

    In contrast, it is truly refreshing when we receive a communication that is brief and to the point. Even our language has changed. In the previous paragraph I first wrote “discursive account”, but changed it to “long-winded” – not shorter, this time, but it reaches your understanding quicker.

    First impressions

    The same principles apply to face-to-face meetings. As you know, you never get a second chance to make a first impression. That first impression may be created in a fraction of a second. It’s part of the process of communication.

    Think back to the last time you met someone you instantly liked or disliked. Why? What did they say or do? And are you letting others make similar snap judgements about you?

    So what can you do about it all?

    In a business context it is important to think through your positions and your propositions. Know what you believe and why, and be clear about the benefits of your offerings. Practise making your point, using simple structures such as Problem, Cause, Solution, as though a resistant business prospect has said, “You have 60 seconds to tell me why I should listen to you.”

    At the 2009 meeting of world leaders, Gaddafi was given 15 minutes to speak, and rambled on for an hour and a half. Most of us don’t have that luxury.

    When you know how to make your point in just a minute, you create a communication style that projects a sense of purpose. You’ll connect better at networking meetings. Your opinions will be better received. Strangely enough, you’ll even learn to listen more.

    And that’s what wins friends and influences people.

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  • How to DELIVER!

    If you have a speech or presentation to make, the way you deliver it will make all the difference. Here’s a 10-point checklist for you:

    1. Speak with conviction and energy – each speech can expend as much energy as a full day’s work

    2. Be focused – facts tell, feelings sell!

    3. Make it a performance – use drama, images, visual aids and ENERGY

    4. Be distinctive – make it memorable – put your personal mark on it

    5. Use vocal variety – entertain and surprise them – keep them interested

    6. Have empathy – talk to them, not at them – don’t fear personal contact – smile: give a reason to like you

    7. Maintain good eye contact – one friendly face at a time

    8. Show what you mean – use gestures and positive body language

    9. Stand tall and balanced – stay centred, walk with a purpose

    10. Serve the audience’s needs – offer information, entertainment, involvement. Finally, PRACTISE, PRACTISE, PRACTISE!

    I have some Open courses coming up in central London. 29th June, 16th & 22nd September, if you are interested. Drop me a line.

    Phillip

    phillip@speakingandpresentationskills.com.

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  • Carrying the bride over the threshold

    Carrying the bride across the threshold is a common practice, not only in the English speaking world, but in many other countries as well. To understand this you need to go back to the origin of the threshold itself.

    In ancient times, most houses had mud floors which would get slippery and messy from the rain water that was carried in on the shoes and boots of people going in and out of the house. To counter this, straw (thresh) was laid on the floor. Inevitably, the thresh would spread and creep through the doorway, so a wooden bar was laid across the doorway to hold back the thresh, hence threshold.

    On entering her new home, the bride had to be careful not to trip or stumble on the threshold, as that was a bad omen, signifying that the marriage itself would fail. To avoid this, the groom would pick up his bride and carry her safely over the threshold.

    It apparently did not matter if he tripped over his own threshold.

    Of course, there were dangers, as when the bride was heavier than the groom, and it could be that some negotiation had to take place.

    So the practice of carrying the bride over the threshold was by no means either obligatory or universal. However, it did add a gallant touch to the end of a wonderful day.

    There is another version of the origin of this practice. In Roman times, a bride had to demonstrate her reluctance to surrender her virginity. So she had to be carried over the threshold, lest she should run away.

    She may not have been reluctant at all, but it was necessary, for the sake of decorum, to pretend!

    There will be more stories of myths, legends and customs here, if you keep looking. Meanwhile, if you’d like help with a speech (for a wedding or any other occasion), drop a line to phillip@speakingandpresentationskills.com.

    Phillip

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