I have a subsciption to Sky TV, and have been paying by direct debit. Needing to change those details, I found a letter I had previously received from Sky and rang the number they gave me.

Predictably, the options were gabbled at me, so I pressed 9 for a repeat. None was quite what I wanted, so I chose the one that seemed closest — to make a payment. I was then given two options that were even further from what I wanted, and no option to hold for a human being.

What followed was a cheery “Thanks for calling. Goodbye” and I was no further forward.

Whoever devised their automated telephone service has no understanding of the real world that customers inhabit, and the management team at Sky either does not know any better or could not care less.