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  • The Sky nightmare

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    I have a subsciption to Sky TV, and have been paying by direct debit. Needing to change those details, I found a letter I had previously received from Sky and rang the number they gave me.

    Predictably, the options were gabbled at me, so I pressed 9 for a repeat. None was quite what I wanted, so I chose the one that seemed closest — to make a payment. I was then given two options that were even further from what I wanted, and no option to hold for a human being.

    What followed was a cheery “Thanks for calling. Goodbye” and I was no further forward.

    Whoever devised their automated telephone service has no understanding of the real world that customers inhabit, and the management team at Sky either does not know any better or could not care less.

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  • What is the real meaning behind what people say?

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    You are a communicator — that’s why you are on this page. So you can have fun thinking about the real meaning of the statements below.

    These are just a few examples of the double-speak that we all engage in. But I wonder if we always hear the sub-text when someone says:

    I hear what you say

    I see where you are coming from

    I hope you like strong tea

    I’ll get back to you on that

    Here, let me get you a coaster

    No, no, I’m not offended. I can take a joke.

    The conference covered a lot of ground and there was a full and frank exchange of views

    You look really young

    Please don’t mind me

    It’s not that I don’t believe you …

    Q. How do you like him?
    A. Actually, I hardly know him
    A. He’s very good at his job
    A. He means well
    A. I’ve got nothing against him

    Q. How do you like my house?
    A. It has that lived-in look
    A. It makes you feel at home
    A. What an interesting colour scheme
    A. I hate a home where everything is neatly put away

    Q. You’ve heard my complaint. Will you put it right?
    A. I have listened with interest and made a note of your views
    A. I’ll make these points clear to all concerned
    A. I assure you I will keep it top-of-mind
    A. I’ll look into it, first chance I get

    I hope I’m not interrupting

    Forgive me, but …

    You must come over for dinner some time

    We’re all in this together

    Now, how about some of your own?

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